How to lose your native tongue

1. Enter Kindergarten- P.S. 232
2. Get sent to ESL class
3. Take the final ESL exam
4. Become a lazy mofo

Mrs. O’Hara sends you to ESL class. English as a second language. It probably helps. Because sometimes the teacher would talk to you and you have no idea what she would be talking about. Sometimes the other people in the class would point at you and you would get in trouble but you don’t know why. Sometimes you see a leaf rake on a worksheet and you’re not sure what you are supposed to write in the blank- a word? The letter L? Yes? No? Robots?

Take the final exam of ESL by Ms. Champie:
Ms. C: “What color is the sky?”
You: “Blue”
Ms. C: “Correct. Where do you borrow books?”
You: “At the library.”
Ms. C: “Correct. Locate your ankles.”

You are sitting down. You feel a little lazy, so you keep sitting. Your hands stretch out as far as you can to reach your ankles but they touch your knees instead.
Eh, she’ll know what you mean… you think.
Scribble. Scribble.
But you know where your ankles were. You were just too lazy to stand up.
You never find out if that was what caused you to continue ESL to the first grade.

It was too hard. Too hard to think to yourself in Chinese. There were many words you couldn’t articulate in Chinese. English is so much easier. You think faster in that language too. You decide to let go. You talk to yourself in English. Always. Except for the rare occasions in which there were words you cannot articulate in English, but only in Chinese like “leaf rake.”