04 July 2006

How to celebrate America's Independence Day.



1. Plan a barbeque also known as BBQ in some countries.
2. Watch a baseball game.
3. Enjoy fireworks by the beach.
4. Kill a little bit of Asian inside you. America probably likes it that way.

Why America is A OK!

Independence Day means for this one day, and only this day, there are no laws, rules, guilt. You can do whatever your heart desires. INDEPENDENCE! That's why people usually do barbaric things like grill animals and watch baseball games. And at night there are fireworks, which represents the number of times something illegal was done that day like being anti-patriotic, running over a puppy, and saying the word poop.

Fireworks are sometimes not allowed because it can be dangerous, but that's okay. Americans show other safe ways to celebrate their country other than using the greatest invention China has ever made! Like parades, food, pies, aluminum foil, plastic silverware, lawnmowers, pride, increase gas prices, socks, Mexicans and guns.

But why the 4th of July people may ask. Well, it's because 4 + 7 is 11 and America is #1 two times. Once for winning wars and the other for inventing ice cream. Speaking of food- boy would you get hungry today. But it's not just about the heated meats- there's also hotdogs, beef salad, bacon cake and perhaps jello. I really love jello. One time I really wanted lime jello cause I wanted to put it in my pants and tell everyone I pooped out an alien but they only had red and purple jello, and so I had to choose the red one cause that's more greener than purple, duh, and I put that down my pants and said I pooped out America's legal system, but that didn't have the same effect.

But the major question really is: America- mixed salad or a melting pot? Hell who cares? As long as there's some white meat, bleach and a whole lotta high hate crimes! I'm happy!

Even if you can break as many laws as you want today. I just broke one law.
Loving the US of A too much.

Loves and Kisses, Angel Yau.


You got an A+ for that paper.
A for America.

2 Comments:

Blogger DefinitiveDane said...

If only I had a dollar for everytime I had lied about pooping an intangible concept during my more formative years... "Dry cleaing will NOT get angst out of your pants, but maybe peroxide."

9:32 AM, July 05, 2006  
Anonymous Katy said...

OH! Angel, I am so excited I found this (by "found" I mean clicked on the link on your Facebook page). I loved listening to your stuff in Autobio and Seminar. I promise to buy the book someday.

-Katy

1:19 AM, July 28, 2006  

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