29 January 2006

How to play MASH

  1. Write the letters M-A-S-H at the top of the page. (This, of course, stands for Mansion Apartment Shack House.)
  2. Name four boys or girls you would like to marry, four careers you'd like to have, four cities in which you would like to live, and four cars you'd like to drive.
  3. Begin to draw a spiral until you feel the need to stop because the spirit moves you. Start at the top of the spiral and count down the number of lines that have been drawn.
  4. Using that number, start counting at the M in MASH and go all through your choices. Each time you count to that number, cross out the choice you stopped on. When there is only one choice left in each section- those will be your predictions in life.

You think that’s way too ahead in your life to matter to you. Plus you don’t even know what car there is to drive nor do you care. So you revamp some of the categories into:

Sometime you put choices you do not want like doctor or Chris Mitchell just to make it a challenge AND realistic. Even though this game is called “MASH.” It should really be called “Comforting yourself with hope for a future.”

Looks pretty good so far. Because you will be dating Jonathan Taylor Thomas, majoring in art with an A on your report card because you are smart and today will be adventurous.


22 January 2006

How to be born

1. Choose a place of birth.
2. Choose a host.
3. Decide how to enter in style.

You see light at 10am on the dot. On March 6, 1985. At the downtown New York City Hospital. Your mother is Sun Yung Wong. Your father is Kang Hong Yau. You have 10 fingers. 10 toes. 2 eyes. Bald. Compassion.

You come into the world silent. There is no need to make a big fuss out of it. You do not need attention. You are okay. A little slimy but okay. Apparently Nurse Sanders thought other wise. She holds you upside down by the legs and smacks your behind.

You are in pain.
You cry out.
eXTReMe Tracker