26 March 2006

How to make wishes come true.

1. Wish on a twinkling star.
2. Watch Ghostwriter.
3. Write.
4. Do not believe.

You can always use the default- wishing upon the star.
Star light. Star bright. The first start I see tonight. I wish I may. I wish I might. I wish… you quickly run down a list of things you want. Toys. Boyfriend. Friends. Puppy. To be on TV. You always end up saying, “I just want to be happy. Just make everything okay.” Just because it is easier, you don’t want to specify one thing and leave anything out.

Or you write letters.

You get the idea from the 1992 TV series on PBS, “Ghostwriter.”
Ghostwriter was the story of a group of New York City kids, brought together by the spiritual being known as “Ghostwriter.” The kids work together, with Ghostwriter's help, to solve the mysteries they encounter. The series featured a cast of widely different ethnic groups, and focused on the concept of “making reading fun.”
Episode number 1: Jamal sees some strange masked creatures in the park and finds a THABTO button where the masked creatures were. Also, Jamal's sister, Danitra, goes to college and leaves him her computer. On the first day he gets a weird message asking, "Where are the children, are they OK?” Lenni Frazier, a schoolmate of Jamal's, is also contacted by the strange ghost-like creature. Who is this mysterious being? Meanwhile, elementary student Gaby Fernandez gets her backpack stolen on her way to school.

Since Ghostwriter can only communicate to people through writing, you decide to try and contact the outer spirit through writing.

Dear Ghostwriter,
I know I’m not part of the Ghostwriter team, but please read my voice. I am a girl. I wish I could have friends. I don’t have any. My parents don’t have any friends either. They are always to themselves. They buy me toys and books and I play pretend, but that’s not enough. Send me a mystery to solve.
Your friend,
Angel Yau

You just want someone to understand and appreciate who you are. Ghostwriter should. He probably read everything you have ever written in your 7 years of life.

“Dad, why don’t we believe in God?”
“Well, why would we believe in someone else?”
“Because he makes things better.”
“Don’t believe in anyone or anything else but yourself.”

19 March 2006

How to get food.

1. Ask.
2. Embellish.
3. Take desperate measures.

Mom is in the kitchen cooking dinner. It’s white rice and some sort of marinated chicken intestine. Dad is in the dining room reading the newspaper. You told your mom that you were hungry but she said you have to wait. You cannot wait. You’re hungry now! But she wouldn’t let you eat ANYTHING! Be mad at her. You want to die of starvation to show her that she should have at least fed you bread.
Decide to pretend faint. Just to see what they would do.
You go to the living room and try to naturally fall down.
But that seems like it would hurt.
So you just lie down on your stomach. Slowly.
You close your eyes.
You wait.
You hear your mom putting the cover on the pot.
You hear your dad flipping newspaper pages.
You wait.
You hear your mom sitting down at the table with dad.
Dad is flipping pages.
You wait.
You hear your mom setting the table with bowls and eating utensils.
Your dad begins to eat.
You wait.
You wait.
You wait.
You open one eye.
Open the other.
Stand up.
Go to the dining room and put white rice in your bowl.

13 March 2006

How to play the Supermarket Game.

1. Play with a group
2. Choose someone to start by saying, “I’m going to the supermarket to buy (item beginning with “a.”)
3. The next person will then say, “I’m going to the supermarket to buy (item beginning with "a" named by first student) and (item beginning with "b.")
4. Continue with each person recalling all previously mentioned items and adding another item in alphabetical order. If someone misses an item or cannot think of an item to add, he or she is out.
5. The last remaining student wins a supermarket.

This is a game that tests your memory and your random funniness. Ever since you played that game at Madeline Sinclair’s 11th birthday party, you felt stupid and boring. You’d forget what letter comes after H. You would say mundane things like, “I am going to buy apples or eggs.”

While Sean McDonna would say zany things like “I am going to buy a Russian Mail- Order Bride or Dan Quail."
What the hell is a Dan Quail?
Begin a “Supermarket things” journal. Make a list. Write:

Memorize it. Now you are totally ready. Nothing will be in your way.

Remember to act like you just thought of it on the spot though.

Danielle: “Angel, want to play the supermarket game with us?”

You: (Oh boy!) Nods.

Sean: “I’ll start. I’m going to the supermarket to buy an ad for smoking!”

You: Share a chuckle with others.

Danielle: I’m going to the supermarket to buy an ad for smoking, and a beaver.”

You: (Boring!) Smiles.

You: "I’m going to the supermarket to buy an ad for smoking, a beaver and (case of…carriage of... coffin of… can of... can of… can of…) cancer patients!"

They look at you.


Madeline continues.

Dummy! Cancer Patients? Madeline probably has cancer! Or her mom! Or she cares for cancer patients on her free time while you write in your “supermarket things” journal! You are so horrible. You could’ve said coffin of the red ranger, case of the creeper jeepers (which is clever as well), even can of baby corn would do!

You’ll be more prepared. Hopefully you’ll get the chance to say Kerry Shrug the next time it comes your way.

08 March 2006

How to have a justified birthday

1. Take a risk
2. Pick your own.
3. Wait.
4. Be thoughtful.

5. Decide on chocolate or vanilla icing.

It is Juno’s birthday. You have been waiting for this day. Because on your birthday you picked Diana to help you pass out the cupcakes. And you picked Juno to help you go around the classes to give out the extra cupcakes. Diana didn’t pick you for both jobs because she’s too cool for you and she already has two best friends.
And you knew it.
But you still took the risk.
Now, it’s up to Juno. You calculated in your head. She has no other close friends. And you exchange at least one sentence to her everyday.Plus, there are only 5 more birthdays left of the year.
And they’re all boys.
You need this.

Class begins.
She puts down the Macy boxes, you know that are full of cupcakes.
You wait.
Lunch time.
Don’t be too forward.
“Hey, who are you going to pick to pass out cupcakes and go around the classes with you?”
“Probably Diana and Stephanie.”

Hold in your screams.
“Yeah, they already asked me.”
“But I picked you for mine.”
“Well. They asked me first. They…”

You don’t hear what she says.
It doesn’t make sense at all.
You calculated.
What happened?
Recess time? More like hoping that cupcake goes up her butt time.

Back in class.
Mrs. Lax sees your face.
“Are you alright?”
You nod as you eat your chocolate frosted doughnut.
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